he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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