I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize