Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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