his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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