That's intense
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize