I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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