dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
