Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
