Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
