You're a womanizer and a bitch.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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