i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
