just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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