Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
