So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize