theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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