did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
