He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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