i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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