you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
