I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
