I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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