Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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