just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
