Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Life is so much better after having sex.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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