One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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