He uses pillows to masturbate.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
