We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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