This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
