I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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