i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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