Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
