if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
