Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
