I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize