She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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