his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
