I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
