is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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