You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
