You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
