I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
