I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
