brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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