Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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