some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
