She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
