he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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