Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
this beer tastes like vomit already
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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