Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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