problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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