I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
