You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
