mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im part way to drunk.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
