Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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