You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
