If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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