i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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