What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
