WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
