One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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