I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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