The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize