so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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