i don't like sucking hair
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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